Stand up straight!

My moth­er used to tell me to “stand up straight.” 

It was one of her favorite things to say: “Stand up straight!” 

Many oth­er peo­ple, I have dis­cov­ered, also grew up hear­ing that phrase. It’s near­ly uni­ver­sal. As if moth­ers were pro­grammed to say it. In fact, I believe moth­ers have been telling their chil­dren to “stand up straight” longer than we real­ize. Per­haps even to pre-human days. 

What if that were the dri­ving force behind the evo­lu­tion­ary trend to walk erect? 

Moth­ers nag­ging their chil­dren up the evo­lu­tion­ary lad­der:

“Stand up straight! 
“Don’t drag your knuck­les when you walk! 
“What’re ya born in a tree? 
“You want the oth­er fam­i­lies to think we’re not evolv­ing?”

“No, mom…”

Then: “How many times do I have to tell you?” 

And, there­in lies the ori­gin of math­e­mat­ics:

“How many times?…well, if I put the three here and car­ry the one….”

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  • Jim H

    8:29 am

    Hey Bri­an, how about this:

    A hot, young e. coli walks into a bar. She turned a lot of heads, but all the men knew her.

    Get it? Should I keep my day job?

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